And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
