life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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