It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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