Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
