Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
