Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
