If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
