Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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