sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
