Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Houston, we have a squirter
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
