Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
