he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
