a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dignity is for republicans.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
