Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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