you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
