he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
