She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
