she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
