I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
