I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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