it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
