Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
