I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
