theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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