They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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