So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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