yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
they need to just BURY HIM!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
