i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
