"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
