I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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