My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
