I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
