Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
