just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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