We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
