oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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