I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i came on her dog
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
