she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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