i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
