We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
