he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
