I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
