Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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