He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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