Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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