Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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