don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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