Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have fence marks all over my body
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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