Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
