Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize