Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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