I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
