meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
